Monday, November 21, 2011

Once upon a time in a place called Tick Safari....

Normally I only post about cooking, decorating and books but I figured this horrific tale I am about to tell will either amuse you or horrify you and either way it's free entertainment courtesy of me :) This two week journey into hell all started last Tuesday when my son was in our home office playing Wii and he found one teeny tiny tick on our off white carpet (never thought I would be thankful for white carpet). I put it in a ziplock and told Bill so he could see it and gave Sandy (our dog) a thorough check. No ticks.. Im thinking no big deal. Next day off to pick the kids up at school. I park, roll down the windows, open my mathbook and prepare to wait my glorious 1 hour in the parent pickup line.  Bell rings, kids coming out, lines moving up and my car wont start! Great. Cones go up around me, hoardes of cars are being waived around me while I wait for the PE teachers to literally push my car out of the line and off to the side. Go to grab my phone to call hubby to save me and my phone is dead. (Gotta love Droids). I retrieve my sweet boys from the office and we do the walk of shame out of school and then bravely cross the psychotic intersection filled with excessively oversized gas guzzling SUV's driving 90 mph so we can go to Dunkin Donuts for a treat and to sweet talk my way into charging my phone so the kids and I dont have to walk 2 miles home. Battery got jumped and seems to be working now? (whew & wth?) Off to Little League only to realize it's game day and kids dont have their hats... haul butt home & back again. 7:00 is approaching and at this point I am literally having the shakes I am wanting to go home and have a HUGE glass of Chardonay so bad. I am thinking I will be able to decompress for the night.... but ooooohhhhh nooooo.. this is where my nightmare begins. Husband finds another miniscule tick crawling on the white porceline tile in the dining room and he is flipping out. He has a major phobia and is freaking out looking for more bugs for the next 3 hours and what will soon to be next 2 weeks... this flashlight is now literally attached to his hip and he is twitching. He finds 2 more in the office, runs off to the 24 hour Walgreens and puts off 3 bug bombs in the office. I seal  the door up with tape, give the kids a bath and go to bed with them hoping Bill will be calmer the next day. Morning comes he has been up all night and is stiiiiill freaking out. Make the kids their waffles and pack their lunches and off to start our day.. ugh oh... I am not feeling so hot... make an appt to see the doctor to find I have a kidney infection. Get meds - check. Come home to inspect the home & one is crawling up the white wall above the white sectional couch..again only time I will be so happy to have so much white!! I keep this to myself to save myself from hubby's ranting. Thur night Bill comes home from work and immediately starts looking for ticks.. we move the leather couch in the office that we bombed and no joke find like 10 of them there just sitting on the carpet still ALIVE.  We pick them up add them to our collection and start throwing out nearly all of our belongings. Unfortunately all 3 of our leather couches were the kinds that the pillows dont lift up so you cant see in them or clean well... sooooo ADIOS to all 3. Bill made 5 trips to his warehouse to put them by the dumpster because we'd prob get kicked out if we put them on the curb in here.. scary part is someone took all 3 and prob have ticks of their own now!! Friday morning we rip out the carpet in the office. Truly Nolen to comes out and we buy the most expensive quarterly package they have... inside and out, lawn included we douse the place & off to the hotel in which we will stay at for an entire week (that I am unaware of at this time). First night hotel all is good, Im thinking things are going to get better and we will be home by Mon. Sat morn kids off to baseball while I stay behind to take my Probabilty test that I have studied NONE for in the mist of all this mess. Fail miserably (and I have been obsesive about studying and doing soo good up to this point.. whahhhh whaaaahh.. I am so depressed) That eve we are getting ready for the Everblades game, Bill realizes he left all 3 sweatshirts and jackets at the baseball field and rushes off to the closest mall to buy 3 more because we sit down on the ice and its freezing. While he is gone Rory starts hystericlly crying out of the blue about his ear..  Call ER walk in clinic in Naples & we are 30 minutes away in Estero.. they close in 45 minutes.. Rory & I hop in the car & BOOK IT! Make it, get Meds go to both my pharmacies and they apparently close at 6.. nice.. go to new one.. wait. HAUL butt back to Estero to make it to hockey game (Bills Aunt & cousin were there and this night was our birthday present for his 18th bday). STRESSED but we made it! Sunday... go back to the house to check on Sandy and house. House still infested after being sprayed , dog still tick free but now her ear is swollen up the size of a ballon (literally) from an ear infection that turned into a aural hematoma (this is the 2nd time she has got one.. only way I know the term). I am feeling totally defeated and so sad for my dog. Book her into the vets office which is also a boarding facilty named Animal Safari aka Tick Safari (this is where this whole mess apparently started when we boarded her there in Sept when we went to Disney World.. and yes before you ask.. she is on Frontline Plus). Vet says Sandy must have gotten a tick that jumped off her and laid a nest in our house.. they go thru cycles and this is going to continue on for a few months..Sandy stays for 2 nights to get laser treatments, possible surgey and a tick dipping just in case. I am off to pack supplies for the week at the hotel, clothes, bookbags,  library books, lunch boxes, food supplies ect...this week is goiing to suck! Monday & Tuesday while the kids are at school I come back home during the day and disasemble and move every piece of furniture in every single room in this house and disinfect, vacumm, mop, wash everything we own and go through all of the kids toys.  I am feeling confident that I will beat this thing. Go pick up Sandy from the vet, pay my 300 bill and put her in the backseat of my pretty little car... pull out of the parking lot and I hear the sound of floodgates opening.. Sandy is pissing GALLONS OF PEE all over the backseat of my car. I am seething...she stays at the shop. My car breaks down two more times that day.. after I get the kids from school I go get a new battery and make it to baseball practice. Thursday we are still in the hotel and I am sick of it.. beg and plead to come home.. I miss cooking, I miss my home.. I need to feel grounded. He agrees , after i drop the kids at school I go back to the hotel and round up 2 times on the bellhop cart pay our ginormous hotel bill and happily make my way home to find Bill on a break from work and in our room with 6 more ticks.. they are inside the electrical socket that sits above where the dog bed used to be. I refuse to leave...he buys a cot and sleeps in the empty family room (new furniture isnt delivered yet) and I bunk with the kids in Rorys room because it is the only one that hasn't had any ticks and still has beds set up. Truly Nolen comes back Sat for another round of spraying. We leave and take the kids to the mind-numbing horribly awful Happy Feet 2 movie and want to blow our brains out. I beg Bill to bring Sandy home.. I miss her terribly while he is hating on her and swearing she is the root of all problems. He reluctantly brings her home and we take her out on the hour because she is on Prednisone steroid and apparantly it makes her pee uncontrollably?? We go to bed and I'm in a deep sleep on the bottom bunk with Rory (Sandy sleeps under the bunk in his room) and I wake to the sound of gushing UNDER the bed.. she is peeing gallons all over herself and wont come out. It is 5 am and we r awake for the day.. let's whip up the pancakes.. trying to keep up as much normalacy as I can cuz otherwise we are sucking as parents.. We are stressed and snapping and have a eggnog iv attached to our arm nightly just to sleep. What I would give to have a support system or what other moms seem to call their "village". After breakfast we rip up the carpet in Rorys room and move all Rorys stuff into Tylers room.. we are hoping it is ok because we had only found one in the entry to his room. We set his beds back up & I am sooo thankful to have 2 sets of bunkbeds because now we are down to one bedroom out of 4. Unfortunately Tylers bunks are both twins so now Rory and I sleep pretty much on top of eachothers feet. Sandy is sleeping on the garage and luckily the new furniture came so Bill can sleep on the couch. We are still finding ticks daily.. all 4 bedrooms are ripped of carpet and of course its Thanksgiving so the tile guy wont start the work till the first of Dec.. hope he gets done fast. Now I am stressing about if its safe to bring a tree in.. how can I decorate, will wrapped presents provide hiding places for them? I am a big believer in karma.. but what did we do?? For u readers be thankful this Thanksgiving that you are not me! LMAO (in a madly hysterical fashion)... and stay tuned to see if we survive this!